Kirk family life

My boys make me laugh!!

2011-01-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

My boys make me laugh every day. I don't know what I laughed at before I had them... Nothing is as funny as the things they do and say. We were watching Transformers and I quoted Megatron as he is chasing Sam through the building. I said "I smell you, Boy!"... Connor was sitting on the floor in front of me.. He turned around with this little grin on his face and says "I tooted". The rest of the movied just wasn't the same after that. Brenan was chasing Connor around the other day and he says "Come back here you little one eyed Cretin!"... Ok, so I know that is not an exact quote out of the movie but it still made me laugh pretty hard. Then this morning my little 2 year old gets out of bed and comes into my room. The very first thing he says to me is "Capiller into butterfly".. He says this with a sad little face. So I tell him .. "That's a cheeto". He says "OH!" and starts laughing his head off. I almost fell out of bed. So, as I was getting out of bed, Connor says "butt crack hanging out" and goes to the end of the bed and picks up Jeff's lounge pants that are on the floor by the dresser and tells me to "put dress on". That is his way of saying get dressed. So, getting up out of bed is bad enough on a pregnant ladys bladder, but to be laughing so hard while doing it is really not a good thing!

3D Ultrasound...

2011-01-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

I have wanted one of these every time I was pregnant.. Never got one until now. I have seen other people photos and some were pretty good, others were not. I think where I have big fat babies, they are more well rounded and actually look like babies instead of little skeletons.. I have been told these are great pics for a 3d ultrasound so here you go...

It's been a while... again.

2011-01-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I have not updated ANYthing since we announced we were having another baby... Now that I only have about 5 1/2 weeks left.. That is a long time between updates!

We are all doing well. No, we don't know what we are having yet, this baby has been very uncooperative in letting us peek. I have had three different ultrasounds and everything has been kept covered up for all of them. I have not gained any weight and the baby is growing well, so that is a good thing for everyone. I have been having contractions for what feels like months, and was dilated to 3 at 33 weeks. I guess we will all have to wait and see if I actually make it to February or not. Jeff has a separated shoulder and possibly a torn rotor cuff. He is actually in Park City seeing a specialist about it today to see if he needs surgery or not. I am sure working and not being able to do the therapy they wanted him to do is not helping the healing process. Brenan is back in school and doing awesome. He has decided he liked last year better because they got to play more. The teacher he has this year doesn't really have toys for them to play with, she has books and puzzles for them while they wait for everyone to get there, then they are all in class the whole time. There is singing and playing along with the learning, but he still thinks it's not as much fun. He really doesn't like to practice letters, we got him doing his name by letting him show Jeff his progress every night and he gets excited when his dad tells him how awesome he is. Connor is learning to express himself better every day and the kid cracks me up. He is so much more easygoing and happy than Brenan. It is so fun to see the differences between them as they grow into their own little people. They are both growing like crazy. Brenan is only 4 but is wearing a size 6/7 clothes and a size 11 shoe! Connor is 2 and is wearing 3/4T and a size 7 shoe. It is crazy when people find out how old they are... all I ever hear is how big and tall they are for their ages.

We have news!!!

2010-07-12T09:30:00.000-06:00

If you are friends with me on facebook, this won't come as news to you, but ....

We are having a new addition to our family due February 12, 2011. I am very excited! When I went to the doctor, Jeff had gotten home just in time to show up and go with me. My mom was with the boys so they didn't have trauma over what happens at a prenatal visit... haha. Brenan went with me to almost all of my appointments while I was pregnant with Connor, but he was a little younger and didn't pay so much attention to everything. He would stand at the end of the table hanging on to my legs and Dr. B would even let him hold the "heartbeep" thing so he loved going and listening to that. He also loved the ultrasounds, being able to see the baby move and hear the heartbeep there too. I am sure they will end up at at least one or two of them this time, but for the first few, I would rather not have them there...
Anyway... when I first got the positive pregnancy test, I made a comment to Jeff that I needed to have two in there, like it would be a buy one get one free kinda deal. He has had dreams that it was twins and he was a little freaked out over it. When we got in there, Dr. B was poking around in my belly and says "oh, twins..." and looked over at Jeff for a reaction. He didn't get the one he was looking for.. so he said "triplets?".. haha I am still too early to tell if there is more than one in there other than with an ultrasound, and he told us that he was just kidding, but I would be more than thrilled to have twins. I would really love twin girls!! I just want at least one daughter and I am pretty sure I am not going to talk Jeff into another chance, so this is it. I love my boys like crazy, and my girl would have to be not girly or I am not sure what I would do with myself or with her, since I am not really into any of the girly stuff and I do NOT like the color pink AT ALL! A little girl with Connors blue eyes, and Brenans coloring and curls.... how adorable would she be?!?!?! Either way, I just want a healthy baby (or two :) ) to bring home and love to pieces. Brenan was exactly 2 weeks early and Connor was almost 3 weeks early, so I am sure it will be closer to the end of January or the first week in February, Jeff says we have to see how the hockey schedule looks before we really pick a date...

Summer so far...

2010-06-26T12:09:00.000-06:00

We have had a lot of fun already this year. We have gone fishing three times, actually did some catching the first two times. The last time, I think we were just at the wrong time of day for the fish to be active. We gave up fishing and went for a drive on the mountain instead. Jeff drove us up past Hacking Lake, as far as we could go without blazing a trail through the snow, and we got out and walked up farther so we could see over the edge. Brenan thought that was pretty cool. On our way back down the road, we stopped and let the boys, including my biggest one, throw rocks into a big pond that was going across the "road" we wanted to drive up. Brenan said we should do that everyday, and I think Connor would agree with him. They had fun. I do have pictures of it, but they are on my phone and I have not sent them to the online album and then went and retrieved them yet, so they will come later. We stopped again when we crossed Trout Creek and let them throw rocks again, because we told them they could stop at the lake, but it was really muddy and rutted out so we didn't drive over to it. Fathers Day wasn't great (sorry honey) and he still hasn't gotten his present because it has not gotten here yet. Then, one of Jeffs people found a buyer for the pump we took off his semi, so we needed to get it to Salt Lake so we could make a little money and get rid of the silly thing. We drove out on Wednesday, got to eat Red Lobster which I had been craving, then went to find a hotel. The one we wanted had a waterslide in it and I had shown Brenan pictures of it because we had planned on going a day later and I was making a reservation on line... long story... anyway, we got there and they were full because of all the Chevron guys there for the oil spill. We drove on North a little ways so Jeff would not have as far to drive from the hotel to the shop to drop off the pump. We found one that we had stayed in before and got a room. As soon as we hit the room, everyone was stripping because we wanted to go swimming... it was a little funny. We went swimming and my two little daredevils had a blast jumping off the edge into the water. Connor got tired of waiting for Brenan and pushed him in once, but that was about the biggest arguement between the two of them all night. Connor is very independent and kept trying to push away from whomever was holding him, he has even learned to hold on to the edge of the pool and walk himself around with his hands by himself already... The kid just has no fear! After about an hour and a half of swimming and jumping, we went up to the room and got ready for bed. Brenan had to lay by his dad, so I was in the other bed with Connor. He fell asleep pretty easy. HAHA Then, I moved Brenan over by him so I could lay by my honey, he was alseep and on top of the covers so it wasn't exactly comfy for a little bit, but it got better. After a night of not a lot of sleep, Jeff went and took the pump to the shop and got it out of the car. Then he came back, we had breakfast and headed out. We took the boys to the Hogle Zoo. They had fun, Jeff and I were tired, thirsty, and hot... we decided it was a little too much like exercise for us. hahaha. We got to go on the carousel three times and the train once. I got blisters on my toes from wearing not great shoes for walking. It was a fun time had by all... then we went and got lunch at Sizzler and had to wake Connor up to get him to eat... poor kid was totally tuckered out and did NOT want to be awake. Then we headed home. The next morning, Jeff had to head out to North Dakota again. He left and an hour later I was at the doctors office with two sick boys. Brenan has pneumonia (pops and bubbles in his lungs and blisters on his eardrums) Connor has infection in both ears, but his lungs were clear. If there is one part of being a mom that I hate, it is when my kids are sick. I HATE IT! I know they are miserable and there isn't really anything I can do to help them and they don't understand why they don't feel well... It is just NOT fun... for anyone. Got them started on their medications, Brenan hates the eardrops, and Connor thinks he has to have them too, and he actually lays still and does a lot better at it than Brenan does. They are both really good at taking medicine so at least that is not a fight. Today, they are acting like they are starting to feel better, both still a little cranky and fussy, but I am trying to be understanding about it.....

New Year's Resolutions.... UPdate.

2010-04-22T09:42:00.000-06:00

I have to say that I am just a little bit proud of myself... I have never really followed through with resolutions much, mostly because I think I was too vague or unrealistic in what I set. This year, I posted about what my resolutions were going to be, I just went back and read them and I was very pleasantly surprised. I have succeeded in all but one of them. And it's only April! Wahoo!

I have been going to church in our new ward, which I love because it is a lot of young people with kids. There are so many kids in the nursery, they have 4-5 adults in there at a time to help out and they put name tags on the kids so they can remember them all. HAHA I even went to a relief society dinner last night and got to know some of the other new people in the ward. I was hesitant to go, I really am not a social butterfly in any form, but it was a lot of fun. We have even went and talked to the bishop about going to the temple and we started paying tithing!!

I finished reading the Book of Mormon!! I have done this before, but it was when I was either in seminary or when I was in New Jersey 17 years ago. I plan on starting over and also adding in some Bible since our Sunday school is doing the Old Testament. So.... wish me luck with that!

I have been doing a lot better at keeping the blog updated, either with pictures or just with stuff we have been doing. Compared to last year, I have done great. Now I just have to keep it up.

The hubby and I have had a date every month so far. I would like to make this more often, just have to find a babysitter and have him in town on a regular basis and at a normal hour.

Keeping the house decluttered and more organized... This one depends on who you talk to. It still is not good enough for Jeff, and I doubt I ever will be. I think I have been doing better. There has only been twice in 4 months that I have not put the laundry away as it gets done, and that is something I hate doing. I have been making my bed, keeping the kitchen and bathrooms wiped down, and toys put away mostly every night. Of course, there have been lazy days (or painful days, whichever way you look at it) but on the whole, I have been doing well.

The budget... HHHMMMM... This is still an issue, but not like it was before. I have bought some stuff online and spent money on getting Jeff and I some church clothes and had to fix my car a couple times so we have gone off budget quite a bit, but we have not gone into debt to do it and we have paid for everything not on credit or anything like that. Which leads to...

Putting money in savings accounts... At the moment all three accounts have money in them. Not as much as I would like, but at least they have some. Really going to work on this one.

Getting healthier is one of the things that I spent money on. I went around and around on which diet to try... I really wanted to do the HCG one, I think it would really work for me. Once I got the paperwork, I read that I could only have 1 TBSP of milk a DAY!!! That totally does not work for me AT ALL! I drink milk a lot and I love it. I could handle the 500-900 calories a day diet, that is not a problem at all, but I have to have milk, so I know I would fail at that diet, so I didn't start it. I decided to try Herbalife. I have a friend that is on it and he has done awesome, so it was my second choice. So far it has been two weeks and I have lost approximately 10 lbs (I didn't buy a scale until part way into it) and dropped a pants size. I am pretty excited about that and I feel great. I have been exercising more and going on walks with my boys. I haven't had the energy to do that in a LONG time. I don't really see a difference yet, but I know my pants fit a lot different, in a good way!

Paying off my car will take a while... So I guess making payments on it and adding a little to the minimum each month will have to count as progress.

So, there is the quarterly update... haha... I really feel like I did well at making goals that I could keep up with and see progress on. Sorry this was so long and boring, and if you made it this far, thanks for reading it.

Capt. Unnaware....

2010-04-07T18:54:00.000-06:00

So Connor has this thing about putting pants and underwear on his head and thinking it is funny. He runs around being proud of his headware, laughing and showing off. That is what he was doing until I pointed my phone at him and it clicked. That is when I got the glare!! I think it is mostly the waistband squishing his poor little forehead, but apparently, he didn't think it was funny that I took his picture. I think it is quite hilarious and it has kept me laughing all day.

Easter 2010

2010-04-07T18:50:00.000-06:00

Last year we went to the Easter Egg hunt that they do at the Vernal ballpark. It was AWFUL!! I could not believe how people behave. This thing is supposed to be for kids, but the parents were dragging the poor children, their coats flapping behind them, as they themselves were grabbing and snatching the eggs and candy even if it meant stealing it right out of the hands of someone else. I vowed to never go back. This year, we went to the one in Naples instead. It was so much better! They had so much candy strewn on the lawn and they had large areas for each age group. They also had bigger prizes on each area as well. People started from all four sides, instead of being all scrunched together like cattle. Brenan was being his normal anti-social self and decided he would rather lean up against a tree by himself than join in the fun, so there are no pictures of him. Connor caught on pretty quick after I showed him that it was not trash all over the lawn, but he did look at me funny with the first few pieces he picked up. It was like he could not figure out why he was doing this with my encouragement, when usually he gets told to NOT pick stuff up off the ground. Even though there were quite a few people there, and the parents were helping, most people went for the middle where the bigger stuff was and left Connor to his own devices on the edge to pick up candy at his leisure. I picked up a handful for Brenan so he had at least a little bit and tried to get him to come back out to the egg hunt with me, but he stayed by his tree. When all the candy was picked up, Connor was so proud of his little basket of treats! It was so cute! Brenan was upset because he only got a little bit compared to what Connor got, but I told him if he wanted the rewards, he had to do it himself. He said if I took him to the other one in town, he would do it there.... Despite the experience of last year, I agreed to take him up there. We got to the ballpark and there weren't that many people there yet. They had a little area for 0-3, but when I parked, Brenan insisted he was staying in the car. I took Connor over to the truck that was handing out bags of candy, got one for Brenan as well, and then went to stand by the egghunt area. If I would have paid more attention and realized that all that was on the lawn was real eggs, I would have just left. When it started, the lady in charge (at least she was the one with the megaphone) said that each spot had 2 plastic eggs with writing on them, and if you got one of those you got a prize. Everyone else just left with a bunch of eggs that had been cooked and colored who knows how long before hand... We had gotten there early and were in the front until about 10 seconds before it started, then we had about 8 people come crowd in front of us. Guess they felt they were more special. They said "GO" and you would have thought those eggs were made of GOLD! It was even worse than last year. I almost had to punch a lady in the face when she bent over and hit Connor in the face with her butt and knocked him over. I was hanging on to his hand so he didn't actually fall all the way down, but I was FUMING! I picked him up by both hands and RAN to the middle of the lawn where no one had made it to yet. I put him down and showed him the eggs. He got 3 before he was manhandled and pushed around by all the parents trying to get their kids more than anyone else had. There were a few other parents that I heard make comments about how ridiculous it was and I have thought seriously about planning MY OWN Easter egg hunt and having RULES!!! I know I pissed one guy off pretty good, because his kid was after the same egg as Connor, but Connor was closer, and when the other kid (who was NOT 0-3) tried to snatch it out of his hand, he saw me standing there and I said "yeah, try it".... needless to say, Connor got that one. The dad was not happy and was glaring and saying how "chickens**t" it was, but I was just in the mood for him to start something, I would have enjoyed beating the living daylights out of him!

My boys

2010-03-29T10:31:00.000-06:00

I must say, I think I have the most adorable boys EVER! They are so funny to me. I know a lot of parents probably think their kids are the cutest things ever, so I am keeping it in perspective, but mine are still the best! :)

The other day, I posted this on facebook, but I am still cracking up over it so I am going to put it here too. Brenan came walking into my bedroom with a cup of water from the bathroom. He took a little sip of it and said "Aaaahhh, that's a good cup'a joe!". I chuckled to myself, the kid actually does pay attention to his movies even when you don't think he is. He then came over to me and handed me an empty cup and filled it with the puller thing for the blinds. I took a sip and then was informed I was doing it wrong because "we have to bonk our cups together" first. So we did that and were enjoying our 'joe' when Connor decided he didn't like being left out. Brenan went into the other bathroom and got the cup from in there and brought it so his brother could have some too. Connor took it, said "taintuuu" (thankyou) and proceeded to wander around the house sipping air from the cup and saying "aaaahhhh, joe" in his sweet little baby voice and words. I was laughing all day!

They come up with the funniest little games to play together that just make me smile. I love hearing them play and laugh together instead of fighting and yelling all the time. Connor is a hugger and he asks for hugs all the time. Sometimes Brenan will give them to him and other times he will say no, which makes Connor want it all that much more. He usually eventually gets it, whether it is given willingly or not. Brenan will tell Connor to show his teeth and then be so excited that a new one came in, even though it really hasn't yet. This morning, right after Connor woke up, they were both in my room. Brenan got to laughing so hard, Connor was saying "boo!" to him, and he would say "aaahhh" and hide or run. Connor would crack up and say it again. It was a great way to start out the day. Hearing their little voices entertaining each other and laughing together. I just LOVE it!

My hair....

2010-03-24T11:34:00.000-06:00

My hair and I have had a love/hate relationship for as long as I can remember. I HATED it when my mom cut it short and permed it. I just hated it. I swore for the longest time that I would NEVER cut it short again. In junior high and high school, that was the growing out period, and it never really looked like it was anything that anyone would brag about. In college, it wasn't too bad. It was long, I kept coloring it just because I wanted to, so that kept it kind of interesting. The main problem I have always had is I am not "girly" enough to make it look right and do what it's supposed to do. It is also very thick, somewhat coarse, and prone to split ends, so unless it is barely cut, it just sort of lays there. A year ago this week, I decided that I was tired of it and wanted something different. Way different. I cut it off. The first time she cut it, she took off about two feet, so when I say I cut it OFF, I mean it. I have gotten a lot of compliments on it being short, a lot more than I ever did while it was long, but unless I go get it cut about every 3 weeks or so, it grows too fast and doesn't keep the shape and style it was cut into, so it just lays there... haha I have been trying to decide if I want to keep it short and go get it cut again or if I want to grow it out. It really is a lot easier to do while short, just blow dry it and sometimes put goop on and hairspray it. But, there is not very much you can do with short hair.. at least not in the time I am willing and able to spend on doing my hair. Also, there is the stigma or whatever it is, guys like long hair. Jeff says he doesn't care, but I know he liked my long hair, and you very rarely see anyone that is a sex object type girl with short hair... its a sexy thing to have the hair blowing and flowing... and I need all the help I can get in that area... being sexy is not something I am known for.. haha Not really sure what the point of this posting is, but... there it is.

Nothing really to say...

2010-03-16T11:04:00.000-06:00

I don't really have a lot to add to anything, I just felt like I needed to put something on here. We are in our own place now and it is awesome! The boys are finally getting used to it, we put Connor in a twin size bed like Brenan's instead of the crib and he seems to like it. He can get out and come find us when he wakes up instead of having to holler at us and then wait until we get there. I think he basically sleep-walks into our room, it's pretty much 1am every time, and he is practically asleep as soon as I lay him back on his bed. That is when I wake up enough to take him in there instead of just pulling him up onto our bed and snuggling him in. He is so soft and snuggly still, I love it. He is starting to lose his chubby legs and that makes me sad. His fat little legs were so cute and fun to play with. He is talking up a storm and tries new words every day. Some of them sound really good and others he needs more practice with. HAHA. He tells good stories, though. Connor is also very interested in what his brother is doing in the bathroom. He is so funny, he will run in there after him hollering 'pee, pee, pee!" even though he really doesn't know what that means just yet I dont think. He does come and tell me 'poop' when he has a dirty diaper, so I guess he is catching on pretty well for only being 18 months old. Brenan is still going to preschool and loves it. He asks every day if he is going to school that day. He is trying to talk himself into wanting a bike. I think he wants one, but the one I got him for his birthday was too big and I think it scared him to be up that high and not really know what he was doing. I found a small one at the store and he rode it all over the place even though he kept telling me I had to push him because he couldn't get it going... turns out it had a flat back tire and the training wheels were holding it up off the ground enough that it was just spinning.. no wonder he couldn't make it go! His behavior is getting worse and I really would like to get him back into the doctor and get an actual diagosis so we can move on and figure out what will help. I am at the end of my rope with him some days and just don't know where to go from here. Jeff and I are doing great. Our new car is being stupid and the engine light came on, so it is getting fixed today. Guess I will have to consider that my birthday present... that sucks. haha We bought a half a beef, and let me tell you, our freezer is stuffed!! I don't think I could fit one more package of hamburger in it if we tried! I have been trying to think of recipes that use hamburger that we don't normally eat so we can mix it up a little and still use what we have. I am so happy about having a full freezer! I love it.

2010-02-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Jeff says he hates shopping for me and he hates Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day... pretty much anything that he might have to buy something for. I have always bragged about my wedding ring and the fact that he picked it out and bought it for me without me looking at it. I love it. He always does a good job when buying things for me, even if he says he hates it. Well, we were in Salt Lake for the hockey game and were wasting time before we had to be there. We went to the mall and were running around letting the boys get some energy out. I always have to look at the jewelry stores, just because I like sparkles.. I found this ring and told Jeff that I had found the closest thing to my wedding ring, but bigger. He said it was my ring on steroids. I had the guy get it out and let me look at it, put it on and fell in love with it. It is gorgeous!! Jeff took off with the boys while I was talking to the salesman, let them play on some of the little car things, Connor was in a train and he didn't like it.. haha. I went back and looked at the ring a couple times, trying to talk myself out of it, but I couldn't do it. I finally gave it back to the guy and he put it away. I went and found Jeff and the boys. Jeff asked me if I wanted it. I told him I really liked it and would definately wear it if he bought it... He said, that's not what I asked. Do you want it? I gave in and said yes. Lucky for me it was on sale and then had an extra 70% off. He asked me if it could count for Valentine's Day. I told him he wouldn't have to buy me anything else for the rest of the year. I have issues with spending money on myself or asking anyone else to, either. I did have to wait for 2 weeks to be able to wear it, and Jeff kept telling me he suspected I was getting it out and wearing it while he was at work (which I swear I never did). On the night of the 13th, we went to a dance/dinner that is sort of a tradition for us. He gave me the ring before we went so I could wear it. He also made sure I showed everyone and bragged about it a little.... haha

Finally!!!

2010-02-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

We are going to be moving into an apartment at the first of the month. I am very grateful to my inlaws for opening their home and letting us stay here when we needed, but after 8 months, I am more than ready to have my own place again. I feel like I have seen everything in town that is for rent! I called on and looked at pretty much every ad that was within our price range. I even looked at 2 bedroom places even though I really didn't want anything smaller than 3. I found an ad on KSL.com the day it was posted and called on it. It was an occupied townhouse so we had to wait for the current renter to get back to us for when we could look at it, but I put in the application before I even looked at it. The owners kept emailing and calling me to see if we had been able to see it yet, so I guess they were as eager to have it rented as I was to get a place. The renter finally called me back and we set up a time when Jeff could be there to look as well. We drove over and went to the apartment I thought was the right one.. knocked on the door and the guy looked at me like I was a looney! The address I was given was off by 2.. I needed a 1 instead of a 3, so I called and found out where the one we were supposed to see was and we found it pretty quick, it was just across the street. The guy had pretty much moved all of his stuff out already so it was pretty empty, he had a bunch of stuff in the kitchen/dining room area because he had had the carpets cleaned the day before. Jeff didn't like it as well as the condo we were looking at, but said if it was the one I wanted, to go ahead with the deposit and signing a lease or whatever we needed to do to move in. I really liked the condo too, especially the kitchen area, it was awesome!! I opted for the townhouse, it is 300 sqare feet bigger, has a two car garage, and the rooms are larger. The living room area is also set up a little better for our furniture. Jeff said he would rather spend money on a flat screen tv than on a washer and dryer, that made me laugh.. but, the bigger place won. The kitchen area was full of stuff so I couldn't really see how much smaller it was than the condo, but I will work with what is there. Also, the owners of the townhouse told me that since I had told them about breaking the lease early with our previous landlords they had not even bothered to call anyone, and the condo people wanted $40 to run our credit and background stuff.... he said he didn't think there would be a problem because I told him all about it as well, but I figured we were already approved for the townhouse without having to do all that stuff. Now comes the "fun" part, looking for a washer and dryer. I am also looking for a couch and possibly loveseat, because Jeff doesnt want to have to move the furniture we have up his parents stairs AGAIN. The townhouse is also two story, and we are not looking forward to moving stuff up those stairs.... but once we get there, it will be our space so I will do it myself if Jeff doesnt want to.. haha... I will find someone to help me actually because I am not that tough anymore.

2010-01-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

I think this is all of them that didn't load right or got cut off on the last post...

Nice weekend...

2010-01-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

Jeff actually took two whole days off!! It has been a LONG time since he had more than just a few hours of sleep and time to just do nothing if that's what he decided to do. We didn't do a whole lot of nothing...

Saturday morning we went sledding. Connor fell asleep in the car so he missed out on the first session. There were quite a few people there and they all kept commenting on how crazy Brenan was. He is not scared to go fast, he hangs on over the bumps, goes flying, and just lands where he lands. He borrowed the round plastic thing from one of the families there, the kids didn't like it because it went to fast and it spins around as you go down. Brenan LOVED it! He said it was "totally awesome!".

On one of the trips down, Jeff and Brenan were both on the sled and there were people walking up the sled hill, instead of moving over into the powdery stuff.. During the process of trying to not kill anyone, Jeff put his feet out and tried to stop. It sprayed snow all over Brenan and he didn't think that was cool. Then he was really not happy to find out that it had also broken the sled almost in two. We left and went to the store to buy another one and then went back. The second time around, Connor woke up and was able to join the fun. He doesn't even cry when they crash or stop quickly and he face-plants into the snow.. just lays there and waits for someone to come and get him.

After we got done sledding, we went to Burger King and got lunch, actually ate inside because Brenan thinks he never gets to eat inside and I guess he thinks it's more fun or something. When we got done eating, we went home and got our swimsuits on and went to the recreation center. It was supposed to be open swim from 1:30-6. We got there at about a quarter to 2 and they had had a swim meet that morning so it was still closed, even though it had been cleaned and was ready for use. We were told that the lifeguards weren't there yet as the reason they didn't just open it. We paid and went in and played table tennis and Brenan played on the slide by the climbing wall. He really wanted to try to climb, but he was wearing snowboots and they said that he had to have tie-up shoes, so that didn't make him happy either. We tried to keep ourselves entertained for the hour and fifteen minutes we had to wait for the pool to open. There were millions of kids there with no parents, even though they are not supposed to be there without supervision. Found out after being there a little while that at least three of the lifeguards were there and playing pool at the other end of the building, so they technically could have opened the pool and let people in. That did not make us happy. Anyway... 3pm finally rolled around and we got to go into the pool. My boys are definately NOT afraid of water. They were both jumping off the edges of the pool, whether there was someone there to catch them or not. They loved the little slides and water fountains. Their favorite thing is the current channel. They love going around that circle. I don't know about Jeff, but my legs were TIRED after we got done. Connor kept trying to take off to play with every one else in the water and then he would tip over. I think he scared more than one of the lifeguards... haha. I was always within reach and got him up and standing again.. and he would just grin at me and take off again. We had a blast! They both fell asleep on the way home from the pool. We had some tired boys! Connor took a nap while I made dinner and the rest of us ate.

Sunday, they both slept in until almost 9am, so we skipped church instead of waking them up to get ready. We had breakfast, I was the short order cook, waitress, and dishwasher... Then we got showers and dressed and headed out again. We drove to Tabiona and picked up a puppy for Grandma Rosie. Connor thought it was great fun! Both boys wanted to hold and hug the puppy all the way home so Jeff took her and she cuddle up inside his jacket and napped most of the way home. She could not have found a warmer or more comfortable person to sleep on. We took her down to Grandmas house and stayed there for a few hours visiting and playing before we came home. We got our comfy clothes on and sat on the couch watching the football game, the hockey game, the Simpsons movie, and Open Season... flipping channels between them during commercials. Then it was bedtime again. Kids both went to sleep fairly easily and Jeff fell asleep on the couch.

This morning Jeff had to go back to work. He is now on his way back to North Dakota for a few days. Here's hoping he does not get snowed in or tipped over with the wind and can come back to us safely!

All in all, it was a great weekend!

UGH... sick kids!

2010-01-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

I HATE having sick kids. I would much rather be sick myself than have my babies not feel well. I hate knowing that they are in pain or just plain not feeling well and I can't do anything about it other than sit and hold them and love them and try to keep it under control. Connor could not breathe last night and he had a terrible time.. poor baby.. he loves his little thumb and he was trying to suck it to soothe himself but could not breathe through his nose. He would suck two or three times and then have to open his mouth and breathe. I felt so bad for him, at the same time as I was thinking how sweet and cute he is to figure out a way to still get his thumb time in. We spent most of the night in the recliner rocker reclined back and with him wiggling every couple minutes trying to find the most comfortable position and failing as miserably as I was at that goal. We then switched to the couch to see if it was better so that he could actually lay on me instead of trying to stay upright on my lap. He did not seem to like that idea any better and squirmed his way down to the feet end of the couch and laid between my legs and the back of the couch, his arms flopped up over his head hanging off the arm of the couch. Good thing he kept his legs still, one push and he would have toppled over the end. We stayed that way until Jeff got up to go to work, then we moved into the bedroom. He crawled up the pillows until he was almost on top of the headboard, and fell asleep. The Tylenol must have kicked in at that point, I don't know why it hadn't worked the rest of the night, but he actually got some sleep finally. I hope he gets over it quickly, I can't take too many nights like that and stay sane.

I figured it out....

2010-01-06T09:15:00.002-07:00

I think I have figured out why I don't keep up with this as much as I thought I would. I don't get any feedback. When I read other people's blogs, I also like to read the comments they get. I very rarely get any. I know that there are not a lot of people keeping track of this, because I have no friends, but still.....

New Year's Resolutions....

2010-01-03T20:32:00.002-07:00

I have a hard time with making resolutions, I have never actually accomplished any that I have set. I think it is because I pick too big of projects for myself. This year, I decided that I was going to go easy on myself. I have a huge list, but they are all do-able. It also helps that I have a jump start on some of them so it will just be a continuation of things I am already doing until it becomes second nature. They are in no particular order, just wrote them down as I thought of them.

Make it to church at least 3 out of the 4 Sundays a month. I would like to have 100% attendance, but I am trying to be realistic here.

Finish the Book of Mormon all the way through. I have done this only once in my life, and I have a head start on it as I am already more than half way through.

Keep up with my blog better so people can know what is going on in our lives. I have to be able to do better than one post every three or four months, right?

Have a date night with my husband at least once a month. This is one that I would like to have happen once a week, but-once again-I am trying to be realistic.

Keep my house more organized and de-cluttered. This does not include the toys on the floor, because that is just not going to happen anytime soon.

Stick to the budget. Stick to the budget. Stick to the budget... Jeff and I both have problems with this one. When there is money in our pockets, or in our checking account, we are pretty loose with what we buy.

Continue putting money in savings accounts. I have an emergency account, a vacation fund, and a regular savings account. I also plan on doing an account for each of the boys, I just didn't have their social security numbers when I went in to set them up.

Get healthier. Does not mean losing weight, although I need to do that, I am just not going to have that be the whole goal.

Pay off my car. It was paid for when I bought it, but we borrowed money against it to buy the Peterbilt and start the business. I liked having it paid for.

There are more and there are bigger ones, and they are more like 2 or 3 year goals so I will quit there. There are just so many ways to improve myself, it was hard to narrow it down.

Hockey game

2010-01-03T20:22:00.002-07:00

For the last three years, Jeff and I have been lucky enough to get to go to an Avalanche game. We have seen some awesome games and even more amazing players. The first one we went to was against the Redwings, Av's lost and the Redwings went on to win the cup. Then, last year, we went to the Penguins game. Av's won and the Penguins went on to win the cup. This year, we went to the Capitals game. Av's lost but we still got to see some of the best players in the league. We told some of the Capital's fans about our streak and they thanked us for choosing them, so we will have to keep track and see if it holds up another year.

Thank you, my husband for a great time!

Family Christmas Party

2010-01-03T20:13:00.003-07:00

We have a family party every year. Last year I was in charge of planning it and took out one of the traditions trying to lessen the mess. Alison, the sweetheart that she is, put the tradition back in. We were all having fun and making a huge mess in her house so we could have our gingerbread houses. Thank you Alison for such a great time!

Here is Brenan's house. I did not get a picture of the one I did for Connor. Connor was more interested in eating the candy off of it than putting anything ON it... but it was still cute!

Happy Halloween!

2010-01-03T19:58:00.002-07:00

Yes, I know it's January of the next year but I was a slacker ok???

Here are my boys on Halloween. While walking through the store looking at costumes, I kept pointing out all the "cool" things that most boys would want to be... ninja, starwars trooper, race car driver, spiderman, batman,... you know.. the normal things. No, that just wouldn't do for my Brenan. He insisted he had to be a doctor. And he wanted to be a doctor that was cutting someone, so we splattered his costume with red food coloring to make it look like he was blood-splattered from surgery. He thought it was awesome!

Connor was a puppy, and he was so good about letting me put that goop on his face. Brenan wore this same costume but he was older when he wore it and he understood a little bit more about what we were doing. Poor little Connor just could not figure out why I dressed him up in that thing, slimed him with stuff that I would normally be wiping OFF, and went to stand in line for hours to do the governors walk. He was sitting in his stroller looking up at me like I was insane and he just could not for the life of him figure out WHAT I was thinking!

I love this picture because it shows off his cute little tail. When I made this costume for Brenan I was a little upset at how short the tail was, but once I got it on him and saw him walk in it, it was perfect. It actually wags when they walk in it! It is hilarious!

Here is Brenan and his splattered doctor outfit. He refused to wear the stethoscope, although it was his favorite piece of the costume to play with. This was also the only time I got him to wear the mask.

I was a total slacker mom when it comes to Jack-O-Lanterns... this was the only one we did. He had to have something orange for preschool to take to show and tell and he loved those little pumpkins, so I got him one to make a face on. Poor thing was half rotted by the time we got a picture of it, but he was pretty proud of it anyway.

2009-09-24T22:49:00.003-06:00

I hate how this thing always puts the first picture I pick last on the post... so.. they are not in order, but at least they are there.

Connor turned 1 today. I can't get used to how fast it goes by. Brenan doesn't think it has gone by very quickly, but I do.

Here is the cake.. tasted a lot better than it looks

Connor, trying to get what was left...

Here he is trying to blow out the candle. We had been practicing. I don't think it helped.

More pictures of my boys

2009-09-19T15:31:00.004-06:00

Oh, those first steps...

We went to the local walking park and took some pictures. The waterfall was leaking all over the place, so I didn't get the shots I wanted because of the mud. Everyone there was laughing at the crazy woman wandering around barefoot, pants rolled up, mud up past the ankles, chasing two little boys around and trying to get them to stay still long enough for me to get far enough away to actually take a picture... lol. It was fun.

I don't know about anyone else.. but I think I have two of the sweetest boys in the entire world!

Aaawww Preschool!

2009-09-19T15:23:00.002-06:00

Brenan has wanted to go to school since he could talk basically. He has always loved reading and learning about stuff. The first day of school this year, he woke up to the sound of the school bus picking up the kids outside our house. He came in to my bedroom and was crying because HE wanted to ride the bus! I gave in and called around to the preschools in the area to find one that had an opening and see how much it cost.... Turned out one of them was having an open house that day so we went. He absolutely loved her! So, he is in preschool three days a week for 2 1/2 hours each day. He has so much fun. He asks everyday if he gets to go to school today or not. And when we say yes, he literally counts down the time, asking constantly how much longer he has. When we say no, he says.. "but why????"... I hope his love of school and of learning and of people stays with him throughout his life, even though some days I wish he was more shy. HAHA.

picture overload!!!!

2009-08-22T11:29:00.006-06:00

I had almost a years worth of pictures on my camera that I just barely got on the computer. Here are a few...

messy baby

helping Grandpa

I love this picture!!

making messes..

haha.. what can i say?

not real impressed with the slide.

my sweet boys

goofy kid.. haha

Easter, showin' off the loot!

Just bein' happy.

AAAWWWW... so sleepy.

Favorite chair at Grandma and Grandpas house.

Easter... what a cutie.

Playing with big brothers birthday toys!

Ah, the accomplishements!

2009-08-22T11:05:00.002-06:00

Connor will be 11 months old tomorrow!! I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by. I love his laugh and his grins. He is such a happy, carefree baby. He thinks up the cutest little games. He can say "uh oh" and he points and says " u id id" (you did it) and "uhdat" (whats that). He even tries to meow like a cat... it is sooo cute!

He has been trying so hard to get up on his feet and get them to take him where he wants to go. He has done a couple steps here and there, but always falls on his little tushy. This morning, he was standing in the middle of the floor, not hanging onto anything. He headed towards the couch. It was only 5 steps away, and he was very persistant. He made it!! He was so proud of himself. He turned around with his cute little grin and started clapping for himself. Yay, BABY!! These are the times when I know I was born to be these little boy's mother. I don't know what I would do without them!

Pictures.. as promised!

2009-08-07T11:47:00.003-06:00

This is from ONE Oreo!

He likes that ice cream!

I've been told...

2009-08-07T11:34:00.002-06:00

That I need to update my blog. Since the person that told me is one of the people I love the most in the whole world, I guess I better.

Since March, a lot has happened. My husband lost his job and we are now living with his parents. That is the short version...

The boys had a hard time adjusting to being in the same room, but are doing fine now. Brenan is 3 1/2 and is 41 inches tall and weighs 38 pounds. Connor is 10 months old and is 29.5 inches long and weighs 28 pounds. He wears a size 24 mo or 2T!! He is trying his hardest to learn to walk. He loves to pull himself up on furniture and people, anything he can get ahold of. They are both having a lot of fun playing with and 'helping' Grandpa. Brenans best friend (other than his dad) is his cousin John. He calls him Porky and gets very excited when he comes to play, even though he is 20 years older!

Brenan has seen a doctor and we have to take him to Salt Lake to finish the testing for Asperger's syndrome. That is in the same family as autism. I am really not happy about the stigma or the label, but if it will help him learn to deal with life and people, it will be best for everyone involved. I am hoping they can also help me learn to deal better with the tantrums and figure out a better way to communicate and get him to do the things he needs to do. If he does have it, I am sure it is a very slight case but they want to make sure.

Other than that, we are all doing well and I will post some pictures so you can all see how much my boys have grown.

Turning 3

2009-03-11T13:37:00.003-06:00

For Brenans birthday, we had a lasagne dinner with all of our family. It was great. Brenan has a blast with all his cousins and he loves to entertain everyone else... Thank you to all who came.

This is the birthday cake.. He actually ordered a Shrek cake, but after we left the store, I called back and changed it. For some reason he kept saying he wanted a "bad cake"... not sure if he meant cool or what, but that was the words he used. He seemed pretty happy with it.

This was after the singing and he blew out the candles. He laughed all the way through the song. He had been wandering around the house all week singing "happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey AAAANNNDD you smell like one too". He got that off of Madagascar, I assume and he thinks it is pretty funny.

Then there were presents....

He got a set of Black and Decker tools with the toolbelt and hard hat. He had to put them all on and "go to work!" as soon as we got him home. I love the koolaid mustache!

Cutest hat!!

2009-03-11T13:34:00.003-06:00

More like the cutest kids, but I am probably biased on that one... We were headed out and I decided he needed his ears covered because it was pretty cold out there. This is actually Brenans old hat, but it looked so cute I had to take pictures!

weight loss ad...

2009-03-11T13:30:00.004-06:00

This cracked me up. For some reason he was pulling his pants off and then putting them back on. He was laughing so hard that he had both legs in one hole that he kept tipping over. It reminded me of those people who do the ads in their old fat pants after they lose weight..

Brenan took these...

2009-03-11T13:24:00.004-06:00

I have a little photographer on my hands. This kid LOVES to "cheese" people. Not just people, he was taking pictures of his trucks that he got for his birthday the other day. He loves cameras and taking pictures of anything and everything. He likes to get his picture taken as well, but I think he is more like me and would rather be behind the camera instead of in front of it. He was taking pictures of Connor in his high chair, I think he got some really cute ones! The last one is Connor in his cradle, through the bars, just waking up from a nap. For barely being 3, he takes some pretty good pics doesn't he?

2009-03-11T13:12:00.002-06:00

Just some cute pictures...

2009-03-11T12:32:00.003-06:00

Brenan was really cranky one night after we were out of the house for his nap time, it was too late to put him down for a nap and still get him in bed by 9. I just planned on putting him to bed a little early. He was driving us absolutely crazy, crying and throwing fits, then he just stopped... this is why...

Little thumbsucker...

2009-03-11T12:22:00.003-06:00

I never had to deal with this with Brenan, he just cried a lot. Brenan didn't like pacifiers, and neither does Connor. If he is really tired, sometimes I can soothe him with one, but as soon as he gets close to sleeping, he pushes it out with his tongue. Its a pretty cute face when he does it too. Connor has decided, instead, that when he needs something to chew/suck on, his thumb is pretty tasty.

Connor's blessing

2009-03-11T12:10:00.004-06:00

Connor was blessed on the 1st of March. I had a horrible time finding an outfit for him since he was older than average for a blessing, and he is bigger than average for a 4 month old. I finally found one I absolutely LOVED, ordered it, tried it on when it got here - it fit great! Then, a week and a half later, I got it out so I could get some pictures of him in it and the back would not even close, let alone go far enough to let me button it up. His shoulders and chest just would not allow the material to come together. I didn't think he would grow that much in a week and a half, but he did apparently. Anyway, my inlaws went shopping for me and found a really cute set for him to wear. He was blessed by his grandpa (my dad) and most of the family was there. It was a good day.

It's been a while...

2009-03-11T12:07:00.002-06:00

Life gets in the way of the little things sometimes. Connor is almost 6 months old now and Brenan just turned 3. Jeff has been not working for the last few weeks, because the oilfield has slowed down so much that there is just no work. I love having him home most of the time, but there have been days that him sitting here going crazy drives me crazy too. Being out of work sucks, but Brenan loves it. He gets his dad all day! I am hoping it will start to pick up so that we don't all starve... Will post some pictures on new posts later, so keep checking (not that anyone reads this thing anyway).

Christmas photo shoot..

2008-12-18T15:53:00.003-07:00

I finally got them done! We tried a couple times and I could either get Connor to be happy or Brenan to be happy, neither one was happy at the same time as the other. I think they turned out pretty dang cute though!

Two Month checkup

2008-11-25T17:37:00.002-07:00

OK, so I officially have a fat baby. He just hit two months old yesterday and he is totally off the charts. He weighs 15 pounds 4 ounces and is 23 1/2 inches long. He is on the top of the charts for his height, but is completely off of them for his weight. The doctor asked me how much he was eating, and said that I should try to hold off and stretch his bottles out to 4 hours in between. Other than that, everything looked great and he said I should just keep doing what I was doing. They gave him his shots and he screamed until I put a bottle in his mouth, then he was fine and after he ate he fell asleep. He woke up a couple times in the store to look around and see where we were, but other than that has been asleep since.

Little Grinner!

2008-11-23T14:41:00.003-07:00

My little Connor is grinning up a storm. He thinks it is pretty funny to just chew on his bottle instead of actually drink it.... at least when he doesn't think he is starving, he thinks its funny. He loves to look at Brenan and apparently, they have some sort of inside joke because they will both start smiling and giggling when he hasn't even done anything. My camera died as I was taking these pictures so I didn't get the really good drunk grin that he does, but these are still cute. I can't believe he will be 2 months old tomorrow!! Brenan can't see the camera come out without having to get "cheesed" with his little brother! Aren't my boys cute!?

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-23T14:34:00.003-07:00

We did not get very many good pictures this year because Dad was in a hurry. Everyone kept saying "oh what a cute little cow!".... UM.. hello! Its a theme! A fireman has to have a dalmation doesn't he?? He is the cutest little dalmation puppy I have ever seen! We tried to get a picture of the little tail, but it didn't show up very good. They had fun, at least Brenan had fun and Connor stayed awake the whole time. We went to a Halloween carnival and it was not too bad, but Brenan got hot and wanted to leave, so we didn't get to do all the games they had. Its almost a month later and we still have candy.

Been a while..

2008-11-23T14:25:00.003-07:00

This last picture is from when we were still in the hospital. His dad was holding him and he just couldn't resist peeking. The others are from after we got home, obviously. I cannot believe how much he has grown! Brenan thinks it is really fun to hold him, feed him, and kiss on him. He would even change diapers if I would let him. Everytime he walks past he has to rub his head or kiss him. He always says "Cute, is him?".. At least we all agree he is adorable.

Two week appointment

2008-10-12T13:12:00.002-06:00

Connor is growing like a little stinkweed. He now weighs 9 pounds and 12 1/2 ounces. He also added 3/4 of an inch to his length since he was born. He has the same problems with milk as his brother, so he is on soy formula and I hope it will help with his sleeping problems as well as the pooing and gas issues. He has his days and nights mixed up, so his mama is pretty tired, but other than that, all is well. Brenan still thinks he is the cutest thing ever and loves to hold his bottle for him and gives him loves and kisses all the time.

2008-10-02T11:17:00.002-06:00

Look at those cute cute cheeks!!

What a great big brother. Brenan just loves that little guy. He is always asking to hold him and tickle him and he loves rubbing his soft little head and giving him loves.

Introducing Connor Morgan Kirk! He was born on September 24th at 7:34 am. He weighed in at 8 pounds 10.7 oz and was 21 inches long.

Preterm labor..

2008-08-22T09:45:00.002-06:00

So, a few days ago, I started having some cramps. I kept thinking they were like stomach flu kind of cramps, maybe I had picked up a bug somewhere or something, so I didn't worry too much about it. I went on about my day. They started at about 10 am. After I had fixed lunch for myself and Brenan, they got worse. It still made sense that it could be stomach flu and eating just upset it, so I still did not think too much about it. After the hubby woke up, he wanted to go get some pizza so we went and got our nephew and went out. The guys all ate pizza and I ate a breadstick, but couldn't take any more than that. While we were at the restaurant, the pain from my stomach started going into my back. That is when I started to get worried. After the pizza, we went to watch nephew play a softball game. While there, the pains got even worse, and I was really not feeling very well. We went over to the inlaws house so hubby could get a soda after the game, talked to them for a few minutes, and then I finally told hubby that if he wanted me to go to the hospital, we better go now. Off to the OB department we went. We got there and checked in, peed in a cup, got into the gown, got hooked up to the monitors and waited. It didn't take very long for the nurse to come in and tell me that I was, in fact, having contractions. It was the real deal and if they couldn't get them stopped, I would be flown out to Salt Lake. The hospital here does not deal with preemies any earlier than 35 weeks, and I am only 32. The nurse said that the doctor on call really liked to run tests so she hoped we had good insurance. Hubby says "can't you just call our doc?" She said she knew him pretty well and she was ok with trying to call him first. He was on vacation, camping with his kids and grandkids. We really lucked out and she got ahold of him and told him what was going on. He told her to give me a shot every 15 minutes to see if the contractions would stop. So, that is what she did. I was given the first shot, and had to wait 15 minutes to see if the contractions were gone or not. I still had more, so they came in and gave me another one and we waited again. After the second shot, I only had one little teeny one, so they just waited a little longer than the 15 minutes and when I didn't have any more, they decided it was ok to let me come home. It was almost 11 by the time we got home, but Brenan was filthy from the softball game so I wanted him to have a bath anyway. I got him all ready for bed and finally fell into bed myself at about midnight.
As bad as I felt that day, it got worse the next day. I was still cramping and really not feeling well. All I wanted to do was lay down. Of course, with a 2 year old who is a tornado, sitting or laying around all day is not an option. I am finally feeling a little better now. My stomach is still a little sore, and still a little crampy, but nothing like it has been the last couple days. Some people complain about all the technology we use these days, but I am quite grateful for the science and technology that the doctors and hospitals have to ensure the health of my baby.

More good news..

2008-08-22T09:42:00.002-06:00

The bank has decided to accept the short sale offer so we can consider our house officially sold! Woohoo! This takes such a load off my mind. I kept saying it wouldn't matter either way, because the house would no longer be ours, but this way saves our credit a little bit and we can still get out from under it without all the foreclosure stuff. We have to wait until the realtor gets the paperwork from the bank, then all we have to do is wait for the guys loan to close. He is already approved and everything else like that, so I really don't think it will take a full month. In some ways, I hope it does take the full month, because we can't move into our new apartment until Sept 15th, so it would be nice to not have to store everything for just a week or so.

Happy Days...

2008-08-15T10:40:00.003-06:00

I have been very frustrated and upset over a lot of things going on in my life right now. That is why it has been so long since I posted anything new. I don't want to just come in here and complain constantly. It gets old for me to say it and most of you really don't want to have to read it either...

I can honestly say I am more happy in my life right now than ever before. Things are going great with the hubby, almost like when we were dating again! I am very happy with my son and my new baby that will be coming in the next couple months. I still don't know what the bank is going to do about the short sale or foreclosure of the house, but I did find a new place to live and its in a nice area and big enough for everything we need and is affordable. Best thing about it is, I don't have to move to Salt Lake! I was really not looking forward to being stuck out there on my own with all the family 3 hours away and hubby gone driving for who knows how long at a time. It would have made Brenan have no one to play with, and that made me really sad to think about taking him away from his cousins and grandparents. I don't have to change doctors, I don't have to change hospitals, I get to stay here with all the family that I love! I just feel like a weight has been lifted. The only thing about the new place is we can't move until the middle of September. If this baby comes as early as Brenan did, that will only give me about a week and a half or so to get everything unpacked and put away before dealing with a new baby. That is pushing it a little more than I wanted to, but it gets me into the place I want and in the town I want, so I will deal with it.

It actually feels a little weird to not be worried about everything. Even in the happy times of my life, I always had something that was just skewed enough that it put a damper on things. I guess the possible foreclosure of my house could be that right now, but I am really not worried about it anymore. They will either accept the offer, or they will foreclose, either way it won't be my house anymore and I have just decided its not worth stressing out over. Everything is good and happy. I don't think I have ever had a time where I could sit and think about things and have a smile on my face while doing it instead of being all worried or crying. This is how we were meant to live. Happiness is a wonderful thing!!

Oh, the drama!

2008-07-10T11:04:00.002-06:00

So, for some reason, Brenan thinks that change tastes good. I have no idea where he found it, but he swallowed what we think is a nickle. It is either a nickle or a quarter, couldn't really tell for sure from the xray picture, since it is digital and can be resized smaller or larger.

We were driving to the laundromat to clean our comforter and had only gotten a couple blocks from our house when I heard him choking and gagging on something. I pulled over real fast to see if I could help him get it out, but he started throwing up when I stopped. He puked for what felt like a really long time, although it couldnt have been more than a couple minutes. I got him out of his seat and out onto the ground, where he continued to throw up. I stripped him off, cleaned him up as well as I could and put him back into the car so I could clean off his seat and the back of the car. There was a huge pool of vomit in his car seat, so I just got in the car and drove home so we could take the seat out and take the cover off to wash it. While I was cleaning, he started throwing up again. All over me and it puddled in my lap... what fun! I stripped off, finished cleaning his seat off, I had put the cover in the washer, so I put all of our clothes in there with it to get all the puked on stuff clean at once. Then we went and took a bath.

For the next three days, every time Brenan tried to eat anything very solid, he would start throwing up again. I was finally able to get him in to his pediatrician and she ordered an xray to see what it was he had swallowed and where it was in his system. At that point it was in his stomach, so it was past two of the hardest parts to get through. I had to put him back into diapers, and search through them to see if I could find the "foreign object" and make sure it came out. I never did find it, though it was "fun" looking!.. At his last xray, we were told it was no longer in there so luckily, he got it out on his own and it will be causing no more problems. It was scary there for a while because they were talking about having to do major surgery on him to get it out if it stayed stuck in there. I am so very glad we don't have to go through that.

Fishing...

2008-06-11T09:28:00.001-06:00

We have gone fishing four times so far this year. Brenan loved it when we went last year and he just begs to go almost every day. He now runs around the house with an old phone cord flinging it around, saying he is fishing. He tells me he needs more worm and power bait about every time he casts. When he "catches" one, he comes and makes me take it off the hook and give him more power bait.. It cracks me up! When he gets done fishing, I have to "cut fishies", because he watches his dad gut them after we are done and ready to go home. The kid just pays way too close of attention to stuff we do. He just barely found an old diaper bag, put his fishing pole in it, and said he had to go get more power bait and needed to go to town. He put the diaper bag over his shoulder and went to wait by the back door so we could go get more power bait. I think its funny that that is what he calls it because we normally use worms and salmon eggs, not power bait. I guess maybe I need to get him a little tackle box so he can really have some stuff to play with.

Second baby shower???

2008-06-09T12:07:00.002-06:00

Ok, so the message board I am on all the time has this question a lot. Is it ok for a person to want a shower for their second/third.. etc. baby?? I still have all the big stuff, the crib, the swing, the walker.. but I gave away all of the clothes I had for Brenan smaller than about 18 months. Even if it was totally without gifts, I think all babies deserve their own party. Why should we only celebrate the first one? There are people that say "just throw a 'meet the baby' party after you have him/her"... With having a c-section, a newborn, and a two year old tornado, I am really doubting I will feel like planning and throwing a party. There are people on there who get really crabby about it, saying that the moms who want showers for their subsequent babies are being selfish and using their babies for their own personal gain.. to get the things they want. I don't see it that way. Why is it wrong to want to celebrate your new baby with your family, just because you already have a child at home? And, even if the parents do have all the big stuff... every baby uses diapers! Like I said, it is not about the gifts, or getting the things you want, it is about celebrating life. Birthdays are a big deal to me, it is the only day of the year that only ONE person is celebrated. They are being celebrated just because they are here and with us. Why should only the first baby in the family get that celebration before he/she is born?

This morning..

2008-06-04T11:03:00.003-06:00

I did not go to sleep until almost 2:30 this morning, I have too many things running through my head. We have gotten an offer on the house, but it is right at $60K less than what we owe on it, and then they want to take closing costs and realtor fees out of that, so the bank would get even less. It upsets me that our realtor even thought this was a good idea, the offer came from her daughter and son in law, which I really don't think is ethical in the first place. Now there is another couple wanting to put in an offer, and they want to rent the house from us until closing so they can get moved down here, they are from out of state. I talked to hubby about this and he said it was fine with him, as long as the bank accepted thier offer first so we knew that they were really buying it. That was the plan anyway, so that was ok with me too. Now, our realtor decides to go out of town, so I have no idea how long it is going to take to get this couples offer so I can submit it to the bank. I was hoping to submit both offers at the same time, so that the bank can choose which one they like better, without having to wait.

Anyway, I had the whole swarming mess of thoughts swirling around in my head... how long it is taking, how upset we are at our realtor, where we are going to live if we do get the house sold, where we are going to put our stuff because we know it won't all fit in an apartment... then the baby stuff, worrying about how tired hubby was when he went back to driving last night after coming home just to shower, everything snowballed and got all mixed up.

Brenan came downstairs at 6:30 and I was really not ready to get up, so I had him come lay by me. Luckily for me, we both went back to sleep. He normally does not do that, so he must have still been tired or he got comfortable fast enough that it escaped his mind to wiggle enough to keep himself awake. We slept for awhile, then my bladder woke me up.. love being pregnant! Brenan woke up not long after I did, even though I was still laying in bed next to him. He told me that he had a dream about a moose that came and told him hi, then played with his toys, then bounced around with him... funny kid. He then had to pull the covers down and see if the baby was ok. He worries as much as I do I think. He put his head on my belly and was talking to the baby, asking him/her if s/he was ok. Then he told me that he could hear the swhoo swhoo swhoo... baby heartbeep. I asked him if the baby was sleeping in there or swimming around. He said baby was sleeping. He laid his head back down on my belly, sat up real fast like something had startled him and said.. "baby swim! silly baby".. and was patting my belly.

Isn't it amazing how easily we forget what really matters. I mean, yes, having a place to live matters but really, as long as I have my little boy and his baby brother/sister... it will all be just fine. Brenan brings me back to earth so much that I don't know what I would do without him. He is so sweet and cares about other people so much that I really wish I could be more like him. I have cut back so much on the negativity while driving and in stores, because I don't want him to learn it. For not having a very good night, I had a great morning, because I get to spend it with my little man and he makes everything ok again.

camera shy..

2008-06-04T10:52:00.002-06:00

I know Brenan is not camera shy, whenever he notices one pointed at him he poses and says "cheese!". He does these little dances and sings songs all the time, but I can't ever get it on film, because when he sees me with the camera, he just stops and looks at me with a silly look on his face. Every time I get on to look at other peoples stuff he comes in and tells me he wants a song. I was looking at my sis in laws blog and it was playing "Don't worry, be happy", Brenan was wiggling around and dancing. He came over to the computer desk and was hanging on to the edge. He started wiggling his little bum and said "shake me booty!". I really want to get this stuff on film, because it is hilarious to me! He is growing up so fast and it makes me sad some days to realize that he really is a little boy now.. not my baby anymore. I would also like to get it on camera because my hubby is not home for most of it and he would think it was really funny too. I guess I will have to get better at hiding it.

First fishing trip of the year!

2008-05-01T18:07:00.002-06:00

On monday, Daddy had the day off and was bored, so we got out our fishing licenses and poles and drove up to Steinaker. Not really great fishing, we didn't catch a thing, but we had fun and got some sunshine. Brenan liked the sand and helping his dad reel in the poles. There were some friends there that kept honking at him, not sure if he liked that or not... He took off over to the other side of the little cove we were in and was playing in the sand and throwing rocks in the water to watch them "plash!". His hat kept coming off and we would tell him to put it back on or come back and let us help him... you can plainly see which he decided to do. Such a goof!

Playin outside.

2008-05-01T18:01:00.002-06:00

Ok, so yes, he is wearing a hoodie and no shoes! He doesn't like shoes any more than his mama does, so he goes without them every chance he gets. His dad won't let him go anywhere without shoes, so he really thinks he is getting away with something when I let him play barefoot. He likes to pose and say "cheese" for me, so there are a couple posed pictures, and the other one he was trying to 'quirt' me with bubbles. Luckily for me his bubble blower doesn't work all that well or I would have been a sticky mess that day.

New haircut.

2008-05-01T17:57:00.002-06:00

Brenan's hair was getting too long for my liking. He kept tipping his head back and shaking it back and forth, tickling his shoulders with his hair. I decided it was time to cut it off again. He has some really cute little curls that I love, but we had to cut them off. He sits really well with his feet in the sink, and watches me as I cut off his hair. He thinks it is pretty funny. He does a great job and always thinks he is sooo cute afterwards. This is him showing off his new haircut.

T-ball

2008-05-01T17:53:00.003-06:00

I know he is only 2, but he loves playing with anything that has a ball and anything outside.. so this seemed like a good idea. This is the only present he got at Easter. Everything else in his basket was eggs filled with stuff that is really not good for him. Bad momma moment, I know, but he enjoyed it. He actually did great with it. Its pretty funny, after he hits the ball he hollers "me get it, me get it!" and runs after it for all he is worth. He gets upset if anyone else runs to get the ball for him. He hits it fairly accurately for as little as he is. It was so much fun watching him play ball with his daddy.

Easter

2008-05-01T17:50:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I know it was a month and a half ago, but I just barely got the pictures to download to my computer, so it will just have to be late. He is a cutie, isn't he? These are from the Easter egg hunt my family did at my parents house. He really had no clue what he was doing, but he had fun!

doctor appointment.. so frustrating

2008-05-01T10:52:00.003-06:00

I don't know if frustrating is really the word for it or not, but I didn't know what else to use. I had my third doc appointment today, and the doc said at the last one that we would do an ultrasound at the next one.. which would have meant today... right?? Well, I get in there and he gives me the order for it and then tells me that I have to wait 2-3 weeks to actually have it done, because he wants me to be at least 18-20 wks along. I know this is pretty normal for most people, but for me, it is awful...

When I was pregnant with Brenan, I was taking blood thinners from a stroke, I had gestational diabetes that showed up way early, and with my female history, I was high risk. I had 6 ultrasounds total, throughout the entire pregnancy. I got to see my baby so many times that it got me spoiled. I know I got "lucky" the first time, and I really do feel blessed to not have any of those problems plaguing me this time. It was really nice to be able to see my baby and know that he was growing and healthy. Only having one ultrasound throughout the entire pregnancy is torture!! I know, I know... women have had babies for many many centuries without this technology, and they just had to wait it out and they survived, but for someone in this century, it should not have to happen that way.

As for the appointment itself, it was fairly uneventful. I am measuring 14cm, have lost another pound so I am down 7 from when I started, good blood pressure, no protien or glucose in the urine.. no problems at all. Until he asks if I have been feeling movement. I tell him yes, but the last few days I haven't felt anything. He says "why didnt you call?" UUMMMM... because I figured I was early enough along that it was pretty normal for the movement to not be consistant on an everyday basis. The baby is still small enough that he/she could have changed position so I just didn't feel it as much. I was not worried about it until he asked me why I hadn't called them. Then he says, "Ok, so if we can find a heartbeat, we won't be as worried about that statement"... IF you can find one? What do you mean IF you can find one?? Don't mess with this pregnant mama!! So, I got on the table and he tried to use a drop of water instead of the gel stuff for the doppler,... uumm ok. After about 7 minutes of trying to find the noises he needed to hear he says, well lets try some gel and see if that will help the contact. It took him another 4-5 minutes after that to finally find a heartbeat. He told me that he was hearing fetal movement, so he was not worried about the baby being ok anymore, but he still wanted to hear that heartbeat. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he found it! Then, he didn't count it so I still don't know how fast it is. He said if he had to guess he would have said between 150 and 160, so it was pretty fast. So, all in all, everything is good. Now for the waiting part... I hate it! I guess at least this way my husband can try to schedule stuff around so he can maybe be there for this one. He only got to see one when I was pregnant with Brenan, and I think he sort of felt left out, because I got to see him so much before he was born.

so funny!

2008-04-29T14:46:00.002-06:00

I find my son to be hilarious! I am sure some people get tired of me telling stories about things he does, but he is just so dang cute! I have decided Brenan thinks that we eat out a lot. When we go through a drive through, he just can't deal with having to wait for the people in front of him to get their turn. He tells them go "go people" and "out the way". Usually he only gets this way when he is really hungry or tired, but its still a little embarassing. We were stopped at a stop light and he told me he wanted his window down. I rolled it down for him and he was looking at the car next to us, it had some girls in it, so he was fascinated because he is a major flirt! What he started doing next had me laughing so hard that I almost missed the light when it turned green! I had tears rolling down my face. He leaned over to the window and started hollering out. He said "chicken, fies, chocamilk"... he was ordering lunch!! Apparently, he thinks when we eat out that I just yell what I want out the window and someone gives it to me. Oh, if only this world worked that way...

kodak camera

2008-04-22T13:07:00.003-06:00

this thing is totally ticking me off today. I have about 30 pictures on there that I wanted to put onto the computer so I could post some of them, and so I could play with the editing instead of always going to WalMart to print them. The only ones that will show up when I try to add the pictures to the album are the ones that are on the internal memory of the camera, not the ones on the memory card. They show up as being there, but there isn't a picture, just a little X in a box. I tried to upload them anyway, and then I get told that the file wasn't there or was damaged. I can look at them in review mode on the camera, but I can't get them onto the computer. Don't know if its the camera, the memory card, or the computer, but I am getting a little frustrated!

first accident

2008-04-22T13:02:00.002-06:00

So far Brenan has been doing really well with the potty training. He tells me when he needs to go, then he runs in the bathroom and pulls down his pants and puts his stool up to the toilet so he can get on. He has been in big kid underwear for a few days, instead of pull ups, even when we leave the house and has had no problems. Today, just a few minutes ago, he came walking - waddling - into the computer room and said, "peed mama". He was walking really funny so I had to laugh, but he didn't think it was funny. He waddled into the bathroom, trying not to get his legs wet from touching his pants. I followed him in there, and helped him out of his wet and pooped in underwear. After I got him cleaned off, he insisted he needed to pee again, so he got on and he actually did have some left.... lol, I think the poo in there freaked him out a little. We got him all clean, put new underwear on him, and he says "sorry messy, mama". He looked like he really thought he was in trouble. I just told him it was ok, that everybody had accidents, but when he needed to go again that he needed to tell me. He hugged me and ran out of the bathroom, all happy again.

Trying to decide..

2008-04-20T12:39:00.002-06:00

Everyone keeps asking me if I know what I am having yet. I won't be far enough along for an ultrasound until my next appt, on the 1st of May. Hubby says he doesn't care if we find out or not, that it's up to me. I would like to know, just in case its a girl, so I can prepare a little bit since everything I have clothes wise is boy stuff.. but I am really not sure I want to know, if that makes any sense. Also, if its another boy, I have to get serious about finding a name for him. We used the only one we both agreed on with Brenan, so I have no ideas for another boy name. We have tossed a few around, but not really anything we both love. Brenan still insists he is naming the baby Knight, and I would be ok with using that as the middle name if we could come up with something for the first name that sounded ok with it. I asked Brenan if he would love it just as much if it was a baby sister, and he said no. Of course, I know he would, he has always loved all babies, but is especially fond of girls. He will love it no matter what, but I wonder if it would be better if he knew ahead of time, even though he is only 2 and really wouldn't know much of a difference. So, I am in limbo. I want to know, but at the same time I am not sure I REALLY want to know. I guess I have a couple weeks to try to figure it out... so when I schedule my ultrasound, I will know what to tell them when they ask if I want to know or not... what a decision...

Our trip..

2008-04-20T11:43:00.002-06:00

So, even though we don't really have extra money to do very much lately, we decided we had to get out of town and go do something... anything.. to just let ourselves relax a little bit. We went to Salt Lake on Friday and went to a play off Grizzly hockey game. They lost really badly, but it was still fun. It was Brenans first game in real life, and he had a blast. He was running around and yelling at the players to "go" "shoot" and "get him"... lol. It was so much fun to watch him. He would jump up and down and cheer for them, even though he really doesn't know what they are doing yet. He was flirting with the girls around us, and the guy in front of us was feeding him popcorn, so he had a lot of fun. Then we went back to the hotel and he got to watch TV for a while before going to sleep. It was way past his bedtime, but he got in some snuggle time with his dad, so I let it go. On saturday, we got up and went to breakfast. After we got done, we went to Brenans new favorite place. We went to Hogle Zoo! He was really not happy about having to wait in line to get tickets, he wanted to "go see monkey!" Once we got in, he didn't last in his stroller very long.. he got out and was running around everywhere. He hollered "HI" at the animals that he saw, and would wave his hands at the ones that he thought were looking at him. He gives great commentary on what the animals were all doing. I was cracking up all day! He loved the white crocodile... It was hard to get him out of that building! He liked the elephants, was not real impressed with rhinocerus's, and laughed really hard at the penguins. The highlight of his day, I think, was the train ride. He didn't want to get off once we were done. After the train ride, we let him play on the playground for a little bit, then went to get lunch and go home. He was asleep pretty quick once we hit the freeway. All in all it was a great weekend. My only regret was that I forgot to grab the camera on the way out the door, as it was all very spontaneous.

Frustrated son...

2008-03-28T11:58:00.002-06:00

This cracks me up so bad. I had to write it down so I don't forget later. We were headed out to pick up my husband yesterday and I had Brenan all ready to go. He had his shoes on, his jacket on, and had shut off the TV. I told him, "Ok, let mama go potty" and headed for the bathroom. He literally rolled his eyes at me and sighed like it was the most awful thing he had to do to wait for me and he said very clearly "Potty all day long!" Apparently he isn't too impressed with my pregnant woman's bladder. I started laughing so hard that I almost didn't make it all the way to the bathroom!

Telling the family..

2008-03-25T12:34:00.000-06:00

I said earlier that I would write a new post about this, so here it is. I am very disappointed in the response that I got from my family when they heard what I consider to be great news. With Brenan, I could feel that people were happy for me. I got phone calls asking how I was doing, people stopped by to see if I needed anything... stuff like that. This time, it is like they don't really dare talk about it, because their true feelings might get revealed, and they are not happy about it at all.

I bought Brenan a couple shirts. One has a little alligator with a smaller alligator in its mouth, very cute, and it says "big brother in training". The other one says "This little heartbreaker is going to be a big brother". I love them. I think they are darling! I wrapped them up and had him open them for his birthday. I even read them aloud, but got choked up and couldnt really give details after I read them. It was like I could hear crickets chirping because no one wanted to say anything. My sister in law, who I had already told, clapped and said "Yeah"... but other than that, no one really reacted at all. I get told alot that we don't need another October baby, because we have quite a few on both sides of the family, but I honestly don't care. I don't care if it was born on Christmas!! This is my miracle and I want people to be happy about it... not negative! I am ecstatic, and my husband says he is happy about it as well. As long as it comes out healthy, with all ten toes and all ten fingers, he doesn't care about anything else. He says its up to me if I want to find out the sex or not. I know I will be having another c-section, because of the hospital I will be going to and the doctor I have, but I am ok with that. Its like because I already have one, no one cares that I am going to have another. It upset me, to not have anyone react to it and some of the comments I got. Maybe I am being too sensitive or whatever, but I was really hoping to get some happy thoughts. I even asked my mom later if she had expected that announcement... she said "I wondered... but not really." Nothing about any emotion whatsoever... just nothing. It might be because of the problems I have had with my husband... but if it comes down to it, I can raise two babies just as easy as I could one. I am so happy and so excited about having another baby that I can't even express it. I just wish I had someone else who was as happy about it as I am to share it with. I guess I have Brenan, he is happy! He is the only one I really talk to about the baby anyway.

History

2008-03-25T12:14:00.000-06:00

My hubby and I have problems, and everyone knows it. He doesn't really treat me as well as he should, and my family really as problems with the fact that I stay with him anyway. I love him. That is all there is to it... that and the fact that it is easier for some reason to talk about the bad times, and not so much to talk about the easy/fun/loving times. He can be a very sweet person and very charming, he just doesn't do it very often. I had actually filed for divorce a month before I got pregnant the first time. This time, we were doing great and we had been trying for a while. I dared not tell anyone that we were trying as hard as we were, I didn't need the negativity adding to the rest of it. We tried for 8 months, and I got pregnant but lost the baby in December. It never showed up positive on a pregnancy test, and I hadn't gone to the doctor or anything. After I lost it, I talked to my doctor about it, and he said that since it never showed up, I either didn't really ever have a baby, like it never developed or it had died early on, and it took my body some time to realize it and get rid of it. I got pregnant again in January. I tested positive on the 3rd of February, it showed up really quickly and before I was actually due for my period, but I still wanted to wait until my doctors appointment before telling anyone. I was very nervous about either not actually having a baby in there, or having it not be alive.
At my first appointment, I talked to my doctor about my feelings and talked him into giving me an ultrasound to make sure there was actually a heartbeat in there. It was great to see that there was one. I told my family one day later (will post a separate one about that). I saw the heartbeat on the 6th of March, the day before my sons birthday. I am still having problems with worrying about losing this one, and have horrible dreams about it. I don't have any symptoms of miscarriage, so I have no reason to feel this way, really. I don't have morning sickness most of the time, I have thrown up about 8 times, but with no warning. I don't get sick or feel nauseated before hand.. it just comes up. I am extremely tired, never felt so tired my whole life! I don't remember being this tired with Brenan, I don't think I could work a regular job feeling this way, and I did with him. Other than that, I really can't complain about anything to do with the pregnancy.
I wish more people were happy for me, whether I am happy with the hubby or not, I would still want this baby just as much. I know people don't understand that, or they think I am selfish for having another baby when I told them I was leaving him again. I get so upset that I have to talk to somebody, and that is always the response I get. Leave him. I don't have the perfect marriage like some people do, but its still mine. I have started to not say anything to anyone anymore... I am tired of being judged for not taking the advice when I needed someone to talk to. If its bad, I will keep it to myself.. If its good, I will keep that to myself too, other than maybe posting it on here just to get it out. I don't have any friends that arent a part of my family, so I guess this will be the place to get it out and not actually have to talk to anyone.

Wow, what a feeling!!

2008-03-25T11:59:00.000-06:00

I didn't do a very good job of writing things down when I was pregnant with Brenan, and I really regret not having those little details to look back on. I had to write this down, because I want to remember it later.

I just felt the baby move! I have thought that was what I was feeling a couple other times, but I am only 11 weeks and 4 days along, so it is really early to be feeling that. This time, I know for sure that that is what it was! That is the best feeling in the world, to know that my new little person is alive and kicking in there. I hope it sticks around, because I love that feeling.

Brenan the big brother...

2008-03-25T11:38:00.000-06:00

I know Brenan is going to be a great big brother. He has always loved babies of all sizes. When he was really little, like less than a year old, he would freak out if he heard a girl baby cry... the boy babies, he just looked at like he couldn't figure out what was wrong with them. Those baby girls crying just ripped at his heart. He is so funny about wanting to see the baby. He will come over and just pull my pants down so he can rub my tummy. He came up to me the other day and wanted to see the baby. I lifted up my shirt and down my pants so he could see my belly. He lifted up his shirt and put his little belly to mine. He wiggled around saying "Nuggle, nuggle, baby" He was already snuggling the baby. He also has picked a name. He insists that the baby is a boy when anyone asks him, and he also tells them that he is naming that little boy Knight. He has said this multiple times, and he always remembers the same name. It has gotten to the point that my hubby has even started calling the baby Knight! Brenan had dumped his water out all over the floor and I walked in and said "Brenan, look what you did." He looked up at me with his serious little eyes and said "Knight did." He even told my doctor that he was naming the baby Knight. My doctor just laughed and said "well, thats a pretty cool name" He also tells me that he wants to tickle the babies bum... that one made me laugh. When he asks about the baby, he says 'tummy' and I say, "yes, the baby is in mama's tummy". He wants to have the baby in his tummy, and he gets upset at me when I tell him he can't. I told him he could hold the baby in his heart, because he loved it, and that seemed to satisfy him. So now, when I ask him where the baby is, he says "heart".
I know there might be that little jealousy thing that comes out after the baby is actually born, but I really am not expecting too much of a problem with it. He might want to hold it all the time, which could pose some problems, but I can't blame him for loving it too much.